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Meet the GNU contributors in person at the GNU Hackers' Meeting!

The 8th GNU Hackers' Meeting takes place in Munich, Germany from 15–17 August 2014. It spans three days, and comprises talks about new GNU programs, status of the GNU system and news from the free software community.

Register now to secure your place.

Funny C/C++ declarations!

auto accident;
register voters;
static electricity;
struct by_lightning;
void *where_prohibited;
char broiled;
short circuit;
short changed;
long johns;
long dong_silver;    /* Submitted by Juan Carlos Castro */
unsigned long letter;
double entendre;
double trouble;
union organizer;
union jack;
float valve;
short pants;
union station;
void check; unsigned check;
struct dumb by[sizeof member];
union onion;	/*submitted by srp*/
/*if GCC extensions are allowed -- Dave Gilbert */
long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */
/* Submitted by James Buchanan */

const ipated;
case closed:
double or_nothing;
short sighted;
void if_removed;    /* warranty */
volatile buggy_code;
unsigned anonymous;
int erbreed;    /* duelling banjos */
/* Borland's additional C keywords */:
huge penis;
interrupt ed;
near sighted;
far out;
men()
{
   goto pub;
  pub:
   return pissed;
}

women()
{
   goto bathroom;
  bathroom:
   while (1) ;
}
class dismissed : public annoyance    /* Submitted by Juan Carlos Castro */

The following was submitted by Pietro Gagliardi:

/* All this was done on August 17, 2007 by Pietro Gagliardi
   You are free to use this code in a citation or (if you have the guts)
   in your own program; just please mention me. */

typedef int number;
class microsoft : public corporation, public enemy<(number) 1> {
public:
	microsoft()
	{
		sanity = 200;
		bill_gates = drop_out();
		ceo = bill_gates;
		while (sanity > 2) {
			sleep(2);
			sanity--;
		}
		steve_ballmer = new class doofus;
	}

#define our int
#define SUCCESS 1

	our year_2006_goals()
	{
		delete bill_gates;
		ceo = steve_ballmer;
		sanity -= 200;
		return SUCCESS;
	}
protected:
	int sanity;
	class doofus ceo, bill_gates, steve_ballmer;
};

typedef int iq;
const iq of_steve_ballmer = -4, of_steve_jobs = MENSA_MINIMUM - 1,
         of_linus_torvalds = MENSA_MINIMUM, of_bill_gates = UNDEFINED;
/* Here are some that make use of the preprocessor and the Unix programming interface */
#include <sys/types.h>

#define middle
middle class businessMan {
	ino_t want_to_go_to_work;
#if speeding_to_work_because_you_are_late
	off_t o_jail;
#endif
};

class mate
{
	ino_t wannagotoskool;
};

class woman {
#define be
private:
	be friend class of_girls;
	off_t o_the_mall()
	{
		for (;;)
			mall.go_to(rand()).shop();
	}
};

class clown {
!friend class teacher;
friend class mate;
};

The following was submitted by Matthew Brades:

auto mobile;
long trousers_with_holes;
char red_to_a_crisp;
unsigned long long contract;
float y_thing;
union commitee;
volatile gas;
volatile liquid;

// The darned switch don't work!
switch (button) {
> case on:
> switch (on_light) {
> case broken:
> goto hardware_shop;
> goto hardware_shop_again;
> break;
> }
> break;
> case off:
> return to_shop;
> }

// Don't forget the preprocessor!
// This may offend some people - I apologise

#ifdef AND_PERSON_IS_FINE
#ifndef AND_PERSON_IS_FINE

#define answer_universe 42

An initial variant of this joke is also available in plain text.

Disclaimer

The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the GNU Project.

The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.

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