From: rwells@Vitalink.COM (Roy H. Wells) Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: The Computer--Nevermore Keywords: smirk, computer Date: 17 Jul 91 10:30:03 GMT Organization: Vitalink Communications, Fremont, California A friend of mine sent the following to me (apologies to Edgar Allan Poe...) Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets; Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, then invoked the SAVE command But I got a reprimand: it read RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion? These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before. Carefully, I weighed my options. These three seemed to be the top ones. Clearly I must now adopt one: Choose RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S With my fingers pale and trembling, SLowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee Finally I pressed a key-- But on the screen what did I see? Again: RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S I tried to catch the chips off-guard-- I pressed again, but twice as hard. Luck was just not in the cards. I saw what I had seen before. Now I typed in desperation Trying random combinations Still there came the incantation: Choose: RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S There I sat, distraught exhausted, by my own machine accosted Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor. And then I saw an awful sight: A bold and blinding flash of light-- A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core. I saw the screen collapse and die ROh no--my data base,S I cried I thought I heard a voice reply, RYouUll see your data Nevermore!S To this day I do not know The place to which lost data goes I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored But as for productivity, well I fear that IT goes straight to hell And thatUs the tale I have to tell Your choice: RAbort, Retry, Ignore.S -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have time to hand-correct everybody's postings?