If you've set HOME to a directory using one of the above methods, and Emacs still doesn't load your init file, the first thing you should do is check to see what Emacs thinks HOME is set to. You can do this by evaluating the following expression in the *scratch* buffer using C-x C-e:
Look carefully at what is printed in the echo area, and make sure the value is valid. For example, if the value has trailing whitespace, Emacs won't be able to find the directory. Also, be sure that the value isn't a relative drive letter (e.g., d: without a backslash or a forward slash after the colon); if it is, then HOME is going to be whatever the current directory on that drive is, which is likely not what you want to happen.