The GNU Song

A take-off on The Gnu song by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann

A year ago last Thursday, I was in a computer shop
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot
He was laying down the law about copyrights and licenses
And the number of patents large companies have got
So I asked him “What's that creature's name?” and he answered “That's Unix!”
And I'd have gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
And remarked—“GNU's not Unix—I'm a GNU!”

I'm a GNU—I'm a GNU
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a GNU—how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
I'm a GNU—spelt G - N - U
I'm not closed source or cost a buck or two
So let me introduce, I'm neither man nor moose
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a GNU!

I had taken a job coding down at Rustington-on-sea
Whence I travelled on to Aston-under-lyne
On the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream
Which I'll tell you all about some other time
Among the thousand programs on the disk in my PC
Installed and mounted was code I thought I knew
BSD? Unix? Could it be a hearty beast?
Then I seem to hear a voice—“I'm a GNU!”

I'm a GNU-a-g-nother GNU
I know I could g-show my code to you
I'm a GNU—how do you do?
You really oughtta g-know w-who's w-who
I'm a GNU—spelt G - N - U
Steal my bison or my octave and I'll sue
Nor am I in the least like that dreadful M$ beast
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a GNU!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a GNU!
G-no, g-no, g-no, I'm a GNU!