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BREAKING: Knocking Down The HACIENDA

GNU hackers opened the GHM by revealing the offensive HACIENDA global surveillance program for TWD, and how to knock it down with stealth TCP services! Watch it now! [more]

Midnight Dreary

A friend of mine sent the following to me (apologies to Edgar Allan Poe...)
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets;
Having reached the bottom line,
I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand, then invoked the SAVE command
But I got a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly I must now adopt one:
Choose "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

With my fingers pale and trembling,
SLowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key--
But on the screen what did I see?
Again:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

I tried to catch the chips off-guard--
I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards.
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations
Still there came the incantation:
Choose:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

There I sat, distraught exhausted, by my own machine accosted
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight:
A bold and blinding flash of light--
A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.
I saw the screen collapse and die
"Oh no--my data base," I cried
I thought I heard a voice reply,
"You'll see your data Nevermore!"

To this day I do not know
The place to which lost data goes
I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored
But as for productivity, well
I fear that IT goes straight to hell
And that's the tale I have to tell
Your choice:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

--
Edited by Brad Templeton.  

Other humor in the GNU Humor Collection.

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